General About

I’ve waited a long time to start writing about my experiences in, with, and leaving what is known as the ‘prophetic movement’ in the American charismatic church. For some people who have left this, or similar, movements, it was helpful and cathartic to write about it from the beginning. In some cases the writings are helpful to those inside the movement who have questions, or those in the midst of the leaving. One can feel very alone in those times.

For myself, I felt a very strong conviction to NOT write in a public way. I did some commenting on a few choice blogs (more on that later), but all in all, I felt a deep conviction to stay quiet. Maybe because so much of my experience involved talking, talking, talking, declaring, professing, prophesying, etc., and we were told “God is always talking.”

I’d had enough talking. Enough noise. So many words supposedly from God. So many words I wished I had never uttered as being God’s words.

Catharsis? I certainly needed some, but mine took place in my prayer life, during late nights and long drives with my husband, and across the kitchen table from a dear, dear friend.

The second reason I waited to write was because I didn’t trust myself to write without sarcasm. Sarcasm has its place.  I lean toward the sarcastic, but I don’t think it’s helpful to the reader I want to help. To the person who is in the prophetic movement, new apostolic movement, charismatic movement, spiritual warfare mvmt, etc., and can no longer ignore those nagging little suspicions; sarcasm is like a slap in the face.

To the one who is just daring to ask those questions that have been stewing under the surface, sarcasm feels like a snarky attitude from people who think they are wiser; people who are tearing down the pastors, leaders, and teachers they have come to trust.

Anyway, that’s how it felt to me. I was pretty timid about asking questions that might look like disloyalty (a big one in my CLB), or touching God’s anointed, or rebellion. I was searching for answers to very specific questions, and when I found blogs and websites that treated those topics with sarcasm, it confused me. I was looking for biblical answers, not high handed snarkiness. I was looking for help.

Of course the best place to find any answer is in the scriptures themselves, but I can’t deny the power of personal testimonies and discussions online. Some blogs were very helpful. These were the blogs that discussed topics with scripture as the basis, and a gracious spirit, and I knew I needed human input. To a certain extent, my mind had been trained to view scripture in a certain way, and I knew I needed to be willing to take a good, hard look at what I had learned, and explore the possibility that I was viewing things incorrectly.

If you are in a close knit community (church) where everyone sees things basically the same- even having its own vocabulary, it takes guts to ask questions. It takes guts to be willing to be completely wrong about what you hold to be the true expression of the ‘church’ or the ‘kingdom’ or God Himself. Your dearest friends might not be friends for long. The cost is sitting right there beside you all the time.

So, if any of this strikes a chord with you, I hope you will browse the posts and comments as they develop. I hope you find a calm, gracious approach to some tough issues. I hope you ask more questions, and most of all, I hope you  trust the Lord Jesus to give  you a desire for the truth above everything else.

9 thoughts on “General About”

  1. Lordsetmefree said:

    Thank you so much for your posts. I found your blog through M’Kayla’s corner. I ‘ve had for many years struggled witht the same and having come out of the same movements, influeneces and teachings. It’s been a long road because many people I know are still involved even deeper than I ever was. Thank you again.

    • I was thinking about it today, and I think I had a bit of the frog-in-hot-water experience. When I first started going to a ‘charismatic’ church it wasn’t too extreme, but the teaching and practices got more off the true Gospel as time went on.

      Thankfully, born again children of God are not frogs, and the Holy Spirit told us to JUMP OUT, but there eres a lot of beliefs I held that needed serious scrutiny.

  2. I was in charismania for over 30 yrs. I got in back when it was real (the first year or two) but stayed for 28 more years hoping it would get real again. It hasn’t yet. I just got real tired of the hype and lying. And the ignoring of the clear teachings of scripture.

    I am now back to worshiping at a Baptist church and being a servant in the women’s ministry. Very satisfying.

    • I can relate! see my above comment. The teachings and practices got more ‘off’ over a decade. If I stepped into that now, I’d feel the heat right away, but as it was I had misdirected loyalties, and let’s face it, I had to be willing to lose some position, too. Not to mention friends.

      Funny how getting away from the hype wakes up the servant heart. The willingness and joy to do in secret what pleases the Lord.

  3. The sarcasm thing is the thing I don’t understand. I know people use it to make a point but it is really damaging. I wish I hadn’t made any comments on sites. Sarcasm is like a slap in the face. At some point, we have to move on and get back to the word and Christ but unfortunately it can be very hard as there is so much opposition. The thing I find strange is so many Christians have such opposing views and interpretations of scripture. I don’t understand that.

    • Hi AJC, for me sarcastic responses to honest questions I had as I was leaving charismania made it even MORE difficult to ask questions. No one wants to be treated as stupid. Leaving a close knit “movement” is scary and hard. This is the person I try to keep in mind when I talk/write about these subjects.

      I will, however say that some sarcasm that is truly FUNNY can also be helpful. A good laugh can be helpful. But I would not want to aim a superior attitude kind of sarcasm at someone who is looking for help and answers to heartfelt questions. I remember listening to some very helpful teachings about how to study the Bible. The teacher was methodical and straightforward. It was great until the end when a question and answer time came up and he was sarcastic and condescending regarding some other popular teachers. It kind of tainted the whole experience.

      I think this plays right into the realization that those of us who have been deceived are not without responsibility. No one forced me to be lazy or fearful or prideful: all part of why I was deceived. I think it is critical to accept some responsibility as we repent of our wrong beliefs.

      Regarding opposing views; it is confusing sometimes. I think I look at some issues as deal breakers and some I put into the “I don’t know” category, and some I put into the “NObody really knows” category, lol. The issues and topics that affect our daily obedience and holiness, however, I think are clearly defined in scripture, and these are what we will be held accountable for. These are much more important to me than, say, understanding the chronology of the end times.

  4. You are right – some sarcasm is funny – sometimes I write something I think is funny (I actually chuckle when I write it) but the other end didn’t get that I meant it as funny. When I re read it I get why. There are so many comments I wish I hadn’t made. I have offended when I thought I was just expressing a view or trying to discuss something. It is strange to me when a believer gets angry because you see something (usually prophecy) different . There are so many things that the bible is silent on. I’m glad you wrote me. I didn’t know if your site was closed down or not. I think it is our fault to some degree for being deceived. There is just so much garbage out there. It’s difficult sometimes. I don’t have a church, no real Christian friends. I go to a group but I may have to quit going. There is no real fellowship and some of the stuff they come up with is just not scriptural and there is no discussion. Hope you write me again. AC

    • You caught me online! If you didn’t intend to offend you might just have to let it go. One of the shortcomings of writing comments etc is the reader cannot hear our tone. We can come off angry or superior when we don’t mean to. And, too, some people are looking for offense where there is none.

      One of the things I have learned is that we cannot know everything God intends. Sometimes it’s ok to simply not have all the answers. I’m a little suspicious of the people who think they have it all figured out concerning eschatology and Bible prophecy.

      I go to a tiny church. The fellowship is not real deep, but the people are genuine. This is where God has me, so I will be content in that and try to be a genuine sister in Christ. If you have to leave your current fellowship, I hope you can find a group (even a small one) of true brothers and sisters in Christ.

  5. Yes, I agree that there are many things we just don’t know for sure and I too am concerned when someone is so sure they have all the answers when the bible is silent on the subject. I appreciate it when someone says “This is my take on it”.

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