2 Timothy 4:3-4; For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires, and will turn away their ears from the truth and will turn aside to myths.
Sooner or later I had to take responsibility for my own deception. Yes, I had been sitting under ear tickling teaching, the direct responsibility of the teachers, but it was my ears that liked the tickling. I was the one who swallowed every thing that sounded good. I was the one that ignored those nagging questions and accepted those puzzling conclusions coming from the pulpit, disregarding valid reservations.
Sooner or later I had to face up to the fact that being declared oh-so ‘prophetic’ made me feel special. Special to God, special among the other believers, and secretly powerful with my insider information straight from God Himself. Finally, it all made sense. Finally, my gifts were being appreciated and I was taking my place in the army of God. My destiny was unfolding.
There was an enabling culture in my CLB (church left behind), where the prophetic folk were sought out for ‘words’ and held in high regard because they were (supposedly) able to give direction from the throne of heaven. They had a special place amongst the brethren. They were also slightly intimidating seeing as how they could ‘read your mail’ and maybe even see your secret sin.
Sooner or later I had to repent.
Repent of my pride.
Repent of comparing myself with others.
Repent of loyalties that took priority over my loyalty to Christ Jesus.
Repent of listening to men instead of the Lord’s teachings.
Repent of not wanting to lose position and recognition.
Repent of lording it over others.
Repent of ignoring the warnings of the Holy Spirit.
When I was leaving the prophetic/charismaniac movement, I came across a blog post called The Person Formerly Known as Your Leader that brought tears to my eyes. It was one of the tools God used to show me my responsibility and need of repentance.